BENTON, Ky. (KT) – When Evan and Bethany Lyles got married in 2010, they wanted a house full of kids. Eleven years and two sons later, that dream was taking shape. But their family wasn’t complete yet.
In 2021, the Lyles prayerfully traversed the path of adoption with help from Hope That Binds, a nonprofit that helps families pursue adoption and foster care. Their third son, Lee Anderson Lyles, was born on Feb. 28, 2022, in Fayetteville, Arkansas.
Evan and Bethany brought Lee home on March 10, and the Lyles family spent five wonderful weeks together before Lee unexpectedly passed away on April 5.
“If we’re honest, right after Lee died, we kept — I kept saying, ‘Why? Why did God put this on our heart to take him away?'” Bethany said. “Once we got through the initial shock of just all of it, of what had happened…we just jumped right into (God’s) Word.”
Verses like Romans 8:28 and James 1:2-4 provided encouragement and hope. Bethany put Psalm 29:11—”The Lord gives His people strength. The Lord blesses them with peace.”—on her mirror.
“When I was getting ready in the morning, I just would remind myself, you know, God’s going to give us strength. God’s going to get us through this.”
The Lyles said their faith in the Lord has helped to carry them through the grief of losing Lee.
“We couldn’t do this without Him,” Evan said. “You don’t get through something like that on your own. And it was really tough.”
“We remind ourselves that we’re not supposed to know why things happened the way they do this side of heaven, and that’s okay,” Bethany added. “When we get to heaven and see Lee again…we won’t have to tell him ‘bye’ that time.”
The Lyles turned to the Lord, pursued counseling and found support in their family, friends and church.
“It’s not ironic that our pastor lives right across the street,” Evan said. “He was there that day and he actually followed us to the hospital. He spent, probably, the majority of the day with us. And our church family as well—everybody just huddled around us.”
God’s faithfulness was on display, especially through others. When the Lyles felt like they were alone, their path intersected with others who had lost a child. And now they have opportunities to provide that same comfort and encouragement to others.
“Since it’s happened, we’ve heard of other people that have gone through the same thing,” Evan said. “And we’ve been those people to reach out and say, ‘Hey, you can get through this. There’s another side of it.'”
The Lyles hope their story can be a lifeline for someone else.
“We just want people to know: if you are steadfast and you listen to the Lord and you cling to Him, you can get through anything,” Bethany said. “That doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy. It doesn’t mean you’re not going to have questions and you’re (not) going to ask ‘Why?’ But if you give it to the Lord, He will carry it. He will carry it for you.”
Now Bethany and Evan want to remember Lee’s life.
“We didn’t want people to think about Lee or even us, and it be this scary topic we couldn’t talk about,” Bethany said. “We didn’t want him to be forgotten, because in the grand scheme of life five weeks is so little.”
Lee’s Little Library, a box of books installed at a local park, will carry on Lee’s memory. Families visiting Mike Miller Park in Benton will see his birthday and are invited to borrow a book to read together while they enjoy the park.
“Our goal for it was that families, when they’re playing at the park, their kids would grab a book and they would read together and just cherish those times because we didn’t get that,” Bethany said. “And we hope other families, this kind of pushes them to make sure they take those moments that they’ve been blessed with.”
But Lee’s Little Library isn’t the only reminder and celebration of his life.
Less than a year after Lee’s passing, the Lyles received a text from his birth mother—she was pregnant again.
“At first, I just didn’t even reply. I couldn’t wrap my mind around that,” Bethany said.
The Lyles jumped in and said “yes” to bringing Lee’s sibling into their family.
“It’s just something only God can plan,” Bethany said.
“We’re so excited,” Evan added. “We are truly blessed.”
Dax Lee Lyles, named in honor of his brother, was born on June 19, 2023. His adoption was made official on June 29.
“He is the sweetest baby and reminds us so much of his big brother,” Bethany shared in a Facebook post on Dax’s adoption day. “God has been in every detail of our story and we continue to praise Him, because He is always good.”
Friends of Life KY 